Goals for the week (4.1.16)

I have a week left before I go back to university and there’s a lot to be done.

Most of my exams were before the Christmas break, but I haven’t done nearly enough revision for my one exam that I have left. My focus this week is going to have to be focusing on that, writing up notes that I’m allowed to take into the exam and revising the roles of the prime minister.

There’s not a lot I can do for the rest of my modules. I’ll read over what’s available about the new modules, but this week is the final week of rest before the whirlwind returns.

 

Going Home Again

I wrote last week about how I’m in a completely different place now to what I was this time last year. And that means my feelings about going home have changed to.

Dread is probably a little bit of an exaggeration, but it’s pretty close.

It doesn’t feel like long since I was last at home. It’s been eleven weeks, twelve by the time I go next week, but it’s gone so fast that I don’t really believe this term has happened at all.

It took me a while this term to get into a routine and now, for the first time in years, I feel completely in control of everything in my life. Going home means surrendering a lot of that control, falling into my family’s routine.

There are some good things about the coming month of so that I’ll be at home, though!

Most of my exams are in the next week, with the exception of my politics exam. Compared to the five I had to revise for last year, that nothing. I might actually get to relax a little this Christmas instead of stress over ancient biology or whatever else I was stressing about last year.

One thing I do feel the same about as I did last year is how uncertain I am about the next few weeks. Hopefully it should be fun, and a lot less stressful than last year. We’ll have to see how it goes.

Home Sweet Home

I never thought I’d say this but I’m so glad to be back at university. I have less than a week before my first exam which I have done exactly almost no revision for, but I feel so much better here than I did at home.

Home hasn’t changed, but I have. I’m an adult now. Whilst at uni, I was in charge of my day, myself, my lifestyle. I could go to bed whenever I wanted, eat whenever I wanted, shower whenever I wanted. Whilst at home, there was none of that. I was forced to fit back into the routine of my house hold and out of the routine that had me working productively for three months.

Am I worried about exams? Yes. There is 100% certainty I’m going to fail. The fact is that I barely did any revision all break, trying to learn course content for another module, trying to keep on top of my articles, and trying to see the friends I won’t have another chance to see for months. There was a lot to fit into three weeks, and I found myself having to adapt back into being a child with little freedom on top of that.

I missed home. Before I went away, I seriously missed home. And I am certain I will miss my friends and family whilst I’m at university. But seeing them was not worth those three weeks, and I am so glad to be back in my own independence.

The one good thing about being back home is that it has forced me to reassess what I’m doing with my life. Looking back on the past term, I have not been happy with what I’ve been doing and I’m not happy with where I am now. Looking forward, some things are going to start changing. It’s time to take my life back into my own hands.

Hopefully this term doesn’t turn out to be as bad as the last.

How Not To Revise Part One

Coming away from university has meant falling out of the routines I’ve spent the past three months building up. It’s meant lie ins (half past six in the morning!) and it’s meant a lot of sitting around or going out wasting time (and money). My word targets for my personal writing has suffered a lot, and so has my work ethic.

Last Christmas, I was revising for mocks, as the government moved all winter A level exams into the summer at the start of my A2 year. I had received offers from all five of my universities, most of which wanted ABB, which was where I was targeted, but one, Edinburgh, wanting three As. For some reason, I had Edinburgh built up in my head as the perfect university, and I decided that was where I wanted to go (Later I changed my mind and decided that university couldn’t give me what I wanted, so did not accept the offer.).

A Christmas postcard was sent to be from Edinburgh which was stuck on my wardrobe door as motivation. The two week winter holiday was spent studying, working towards the three As I needed.

Revision was different for different subjects. Some subjects, such as maths, could only be revised by completing past papers. Others, such as geography and chemistry, could be revised in different ways. I relied heavily on jigsaws and dominoes. Both making the games and playing them was useful for my revision.

The lure of a university I should never have even been given an offer to was not my only motivation.

Answer a question, get a sweet.

Yes, Christmas treats could be used for other things than making people fat over the holidays. Getting through a question was rewarded with a sweet and, by being strict, it meant the entire Christmas break was spent revising and munching on sweets.

So far, this winter break has not gone like the last. The past week has been spent sleeping (hurrah!), eating a lot, and going out Christmas shopping. There isn’t the same motivation there this year as last year. Yes, sweets are great, but Edinburgh was probably more influential than the sugar. There is nothing like that this year, just the need to get 40% in my exams. Hopefully the next two weeks will be a little better and I can settle into some kind of routine.

Home?

It’s now five days until I go home for the first time since I came to university. Nearly three months ago, I was moving halfway across the country to start an exciting new adventure. Now I’m going back for three weeks to see my friends and family again. Is it strange I’m more scared about going back than I was about coming here?

I think I’ve changed a lot since coming to university. I’m definitely a happier person. I feel like I’ve grown up, at least a little bit, but I can’t say for sure that I won’t fall back into bad habits whilst I’m at home.

I’m also scared about my friends having changed. Though we’ve kept in touch quite well (or I have with some of my friends at least), there’s a chance they will be different people when I go back, and I don’t like that possibility if it means we no longer get on.

There’s also the lack of routine I worry about. At university, I’m able to isolate myself and do my work (or not, as the case so often is), and that’s something I will miss whilst I’m at home. Though I was able to revise very well last year, I don’t know if I will be able to do the same thing this year. Hopefully, without lectures and society meets and everything else, the three weeks I have at home won’t go too fast, and I will have plenty of time to get all the revision for the dreaded e-word done.

I am still excited about going home though. I miss my family lots, and my friends. It will be nice to have the three weeks of not having to get up at four in the morning and not having to go to lectures and not having to get onto a packed bus to go to the oceanography centre.

I hope I can find the right balance between studying and socialising, but I’m not too confident in that ability.